


spiral (or the termination of gakuhou asano)

by waspfactor



Series: two sides of a coin (in retrospection) [2]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst, Asano Gakuhou's Bad Parenting, Blood and Injury, Canonical Child Abuse, Character Death, Character Study, Death, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Pre-Canon, Self-Destruction, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violence, come get yall juice, maternal death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27463708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waspfactor/pseuds/waspfactor
Summary: gakuhou asano is 8 when everything he's ever known goes up in smoke.gakuhou asano is 41 when the moon explodes and an alien approaches him with a deal.
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Asano Gakushuu, Asano Gakuhou & Asano Gakushuu
Series: two sides of a coin (in retrospection) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2006440
Comments: 8
Kudos: 84





	spiral (or the termination of gakuhou asano)

**Author's Note:**

> wasp back >:))))) special interest machine go brrrr gakuhou ur up buddy
> 
> want to say before u read this- this is not a gakuhou asano apology fic nor am i a gakuhou asano apologist! he's a stinky child abuser who has done a lot of bad shit to a lot of people. this fic is not any attempt to redeem his character! i just want to expand on his character!!
> 
> heed the tags again, this one's probably even sadder

Gakuhou Asano is born 3 weeks earlier and also as a mistake. His parents weren’t looking for another child, not really. But along came little Gakuhou regardless, striking purple eyes and all. He’s a loud baby, screaming and yelling and crying. His older brother, almost 10 years his senior, teases him for it.

He remembers his family well, vignette memories flicker vividly in his mind’s eye. His father, a police officer, loves to play football and plays with him. His mother works at the local primary school, all smiles as she teaches Gakuhou shapes and cheers when he gets them right. The gap in age between his brother means it’s difficult to find common ground (Gakuhou was learning to write while he was learning how to write in another language) but Gakuhou remembers their interactions fondly.

And then it all goes up in smoke. Literally.

Too young to really know why his house on fire but he’s old enough to know that his house burning down in front of him marks a change in his life. No more normal. His brother _weeps_ as he watches his childhood home (and parents) disappear into nothing. Gakuhou stands there, holding his brother’s hand, not knowing what the future holds for him now.

(It’s the last time he sees his brother as he jets off to university. Gakuhou hardly blames him- to throw away your entire university career for your kid brother isn’t an easy task.)

Gakuhou ends up in the system, no relatives willing or able to take him in. He sits curled up in the children’s home and wishes for his life back, that this is just a bad dream that’ll he wake up from. (He doesn’t)

He’s adopted after a year of the incident, many sessions of therapy and counselling later, by an older couple who never had biological children. They’re old and decrepit but nice enough, Gakuhou decides. They manage to pay his way in to higher levels of education that even his own parents could never have afforded.

His new school, state of the art and top of the leader board, has all sort of things to explore. English, chemistry, judo, football, woodworking. Gakuhou feels overwhelmed but after gentle persuasion from his parents, he chooses a few that sound the most interesting. It is here where he realises, he has a gift for language learning. He picks up English as easy as he did French, Spanish, Portuguese, Mandarin, Greek. When his mother loses her hearing and goes completely deaf, he learns British, American, and Japanese sign language to speak to her. He comes out of elementary school a polyglot and is accepted into a good junior high.

Junior high is… different. Out of the wok and into the slightly larger, hotter wok. The third years loom over him (he’s quite short for a boy) and his teachers look at him funny when he requests for more advanced English material. He spends most of his time cooped up in the library with books on language tucked aside with him. He, rather naively thinks, that if he learns every language, he can be friends with everyone!

One day, he notices his mathematics teachers looking at him in the library. He meets her gaze and immediately looks back to his book on Maori. She comes over to him and smiles. “Asano-kun, you always spend your lunches reading language books.”

Gakuhou predicts a lecture is on the horizon. Mathematics is, quite possibly, his worst subject and she knows that. “It’s just so interesting. It’s what I’m good at.”

She hums to herself and slides over a book about computers. Gakuhou screws up his nose. “This is a different kind of language!” She explains, opening to a page about Python. “If you can learn Maori-“ Gakuhou notes her mispronunciation. “Then, I don’t see why you couldn’t learn computer code.”

(Gakuhou now realises that she was scouting him a savant. Back then, he thought she was just being nice.)

After Maori, he takes up her advice and tries his hand at Python and then it’s Java and Ruby and C+. His grade in computing goes up and he thanks his mathematics teacher. She replies by asking him if he’s ever heard of statistics. Gakuhou spirals down her rabbit hole of knowledge again and falls in love with mathematical analysis. He’s in his final year of junior high when he learns of the stock market and the success (or misfortune) it can bring.

He graduates valedictorian of his class, with 20 languages under his belt and stocks in the market but as he looks around the graduation hall, sees all of his classmates chatting away, he realises that he is very, _very_ lonely.

(That night, he melts in his self-pity in his bed, staring dead on at his ceiling. He decides to make some pen pals online.)

His parents (and his money from stocks) help to pay for one of the best high schools Gakuhou can attend. On his first day, he vows to himself to not hide away in the library and be known as the ‘language kid’ anymore. He walks into his class, sits down at an empty desk, and strikes up a conversation with the boy sat next to him. That in turn leads to him being invited to hang out at lunch, then to an after-school training session, then a game, then a party at someone’s house. Gakuhou is shocked at his own charisma, a talent he never knew he even had.

His new friends thinks the language thing is cool, make him speak in several different languages in quick session. Gakuhou knows that they’re treating him like a lab rat but can sense the admiration hidden under all those layers that they hide themselves behind. He allows it to continue, knows he’s smarter than them so it doesn’t matter too much if they giggle at him from time to time.

He throws himself at sport and it’s running that sticks. Sure, basketball, baseball, kendo- all the flashier sports were more appealing (he was good enough, especially since he had grown a fair bit during junior high) but it’s running that keeps his mind busy. He runs laps around the field in order to revise essay plans, conjugates verbs as he passes other runners. He lets his lungs burn heavy as he gulps down water.

It’s a cold winter day when he’s pulled out of class (mathematics, his second-best subject) and is escorted to the principal’s office. There’s a sad look on her face, pitiful even. Gakuhou’s insides turn to knots.

He loses a 3rd and then a 4th parent when’s he’s still 17, 9 years after he lost parents numbers 1 and 2. He sits alone in the hallway and just _stares,_ body numb _._ The janitor eventually finds him and makes sure he gets home okay (his house now, he supposes). Everything has changed once more.

His parents had left him a sizeable fortune, too wealthy for their own good really. In their will, they implore Gakuhou to use it for his future, spend it how he likes. He tears up and allows himself a good cry when he reads the part that says they loved him more than any biological child they could’ve had.

He learns Gaelic and regional Scots dialect as he chooses to apply for Harvard Law. Doesn’t want to live in Japan anymore, nothing left for him here. He graduates valedictorian once more but this time, no one is there to see him do it. His friends see him off and then he is at the airport alone, with luggage and passport in hand.

Harvard Law is unlike anything he could’ve imagined. While his high school had been very highly academically rated, there was always the occasional idiotic conversation. It was a school for smart people but that doesn’t mean everyone there _was_ smart. Here, at Harvard, however, is a completely different story. Conversations over inaccurate anatomy diagrams and analysis of musical theory are the norm. It’s such a strange dichotomy. One minute, the room will be in a heated discussion over electron being wave-like particles and the next, they’re watching some low production horror film. Gakuhou loves it, thrives at Harvard. He finds himself speaking to everyone there, finally using his talent for _something._ People light up when he speaks in 5 languages in one sentence and then reply in 4 more different languages, it’s insane. He actually ends up meeting one of his pen pals- fancy that!

He graduates Harvard Law as valedictorian, continuing his streak, can’t help the grin on his face as he accepts his certificate. He decides to do another degree, can’t leave this haven just yet, he decides. Besides, he has both the time and money.

His postgrad is in Social Policy and Business Management, niche but interesting. While he could’ve done mathematics or one of the many languages he’s fluent in, he feels an entrepreneur stir within him. It is at the post graduate library he meets _her._

She’s tall for a woman, with light bouncy hair and a button nose. Gakuhou hasn’t really had any romantic attraction before this (neither the time nor the effort) but _holy fuck, all those cheesy romance novels make sense now._ He walks over to her and trips over his own words, babbling about the book she’s holding. Luckily, she finds it cute and comments on his appearance, saying he looks rather handsome. Gakuhou’s heart thumps out of his ribs.

She tells him her name and he does a double take. It’s a Japanese name… but her appearance argues against that. He asks about it; she’s half Japanese, half American. She tells him she’s never been to Japan but has always wanted to go.

They never _officially_ ask each other out but it’s implied when they find a flat together, nearing the end of their degrees. She’s doing Medieval History and Nuclear Chemistry. Gakuhou loves the duality of it all.

He graduates from Harvard once more, with the highest GPA in their history ( _woah)_ and with a girlfriend. He meets her family, who are sceptical at first. But the combination of well educated, polite, rich, and handsome wins them over.

Three months after graduation, they go to Japan together. A year after that, they’re married. He works as a prosecutor while she makes her way up to a director’s position on Japan’s cultural board. He’s a good lawyer, can carry himself well, can analyse opponents, find their weaknesses, the flaws in their statement.

He’s 24 when 3 life changing things occur, within months of each other.

First- he finds out the truth about what happened to his biological parents. He learns this hard way as he’s given an old case that only found the true culprit 16 years after the event. A scorned arsonist displeased with his father after imprisoning some of his friends. Gakuhou manages to sentence him to 30 years, with minimal chance of parole. He manages to get to the courthouse bathroom before punching a hole in the wall, his knuckles black and blue when he meets up again the other lawyer. (They don’t mention it).

And secondly- he’s gonna have a child. _Oh shit, oh fuck._ Children were a possibility he hadn’t even explored, hadn’t payed any attention to. Did he want children? Did children want him? How does one parent? He tells her that he supports her final decision, no matter what, but prefaces that he doesn’t know how to parent, that he never had parents for long. She (smarter than him in more ways than one) only smiles- ‘then you know what you have to give them’.

They keep it. It’s a boy- Gakushuu. Not once did he ever consider the possibility that the child might not be his (she’s not the type) but any worries are washed away when he takes a look at the wee baby Gakushuu’s face. Amethyst eyes look back at him. Gakuhou thinks he’s looking in the mirror.

The third- he leaves the hospital widowed and with a baby in hand. There’s an open wound in his heart which he knows he’ll never heal. He doesn’t take off his ring.

A week after his birth, Gakuhou retires as one of Tokyo’s best prosecutors. He’s 26. He decides to become a stay at home dad for a while, throws himself into parenting manuals and ‘how to’ videos from yummy mummies in LA, doesn’t want Gakushuu being raised by hired help. That’s not what she would’ve wanted. He learns quickly that he loves teaching, loves teaching Gakushuu the basics. While the walking and talking were exciting, it’s the numbers and shapes Gakuhou’s most keen for. Gakushuu is such a clever baby! Gakuhou starts speaking English to him as soon as he first speaks Japanese and by 2, Gakushuu can babble in both languages. It’s incredible.

One night, while he’s waiting for Gakushuu to drift off, a thought appears in his mind- open a school! Gakuhou doesn’t know what to think. He hadn’t even considered education as a career. He indulges himself, tell himself that he could have the magic of teaching Gakushuu a hundred-fold. He sits on it a while, uncertain. How would he even go about it? What model of school would he even create? How much would it cost to enter? So many question, where to start?

He decides to ask Gakushuu what _he_ thinks (he’s one smart cookie after all) while he’s teaching him basic algebra. Gakushuu goes ‘yah!’ in response and well fuck, Gakuhou can’t argue against that.

He works out the kinks in the system and opens a cram school. It’s not a full school so no need to worry about class structure and syllabus but he still gets to teach. Test the waters and all that. His first year, he takes in 3 students. Ikeda, Nakai and Mori.

He gets to learn the students beyond their academic ability. Mori is witty and bright eyed- she faffs over baby Gakushuu when he’s brought to the classroom, which is basically every day. She’s a whiz with science, really sinks her teeth in physics. Nakai is a hard worker, never takes the easy way out and really ploughs through the work he’s given. His history essays are brutal, ripping into dead directors as if they had personally wronged him. Ikeda is light-hearted and always up for anything. If you relate something to basketball, he’ll probably start to get it. That’s how Gakuhou teaches him mathematics, focus on formulas that could be used to aide professional players.

They become children Gakuhou never had, Gakushuu becomes their brother essentially. He rubs his wedding ring subconsciously and wonders if she’s looking down from up above, wonders if she’s proud of him.

Gakuhou states one day, if you can explain what you’ve learned today to Gakushuu and he understands it, you have mastered the material. Mori gets Gakushuu giggling about quarks, Nakai makes Gakushuu ponder the true motive of the Soviet army and Ikeda plants the seeds of imaginary numbers in Gakushuu’s mind. Gakuhou feels like this is his _true_ life. While prosecuting had been a fun bout, this is what he was _born_ to do.

They all graduate and get into their top schools. At the end of the year, they present him a pin. It’s a gold sawtooth acorn pin. Gakuhou feels his eyes prickle (very slightly) and scoops them all into a group hug. He never takes the pin off his tie.

Word spreads and his cram school is a class of 16 now. Gakushuu’s 5, he’s at elementary school most days. Gakuhou caves in and hires a woman to pick him up when he can’t. Gakushuu’s a smart kid though (Gakuhou is so proud) and tells him, in very good English for his age, that he knows that the nanny is essential. Gakuhou’s heart melts at his maturity.

His third year of teaching (Gakushuu’s 6 now! He’s picking up German and oh my, look at this cute little picture of him and here’s him at-) brings in a class of 40, the maximum count of a class in Tokyo’s education district. Anymore and he’ll have to split the classes and that means hiring a faculty. Creating a school is closer than he thinks it is.

He gets a call- Ikeda! It’s been too long! They make plans for dinner (Ikeda must be nearing the end of high school now, oh my. College admissions are on the horizon!) and Gakuhou decides to bring a basketball, for old times sake, you know?

He ends up bringing a basketball to a funeral. To the funeral of a 17-year-old _boy._ Gakuhou kneels in front of Ikeda’s picture, head bowed in shame. This is his fault, his doing. Gakuhou taught Ikeda to be kind but what use is that in this cruel world. If Gakuhou had to taught him how to defend himself he would be alive.

There’s only so much blows he can take.

He snaps.

The next few years are a blur, an angry haze covers most of his memories. He didn’t even mean to repress them, it just happened. What he does remember is a bonfire (emotions make you weak that’s why Ikeda died because of you remember?), locking his wedding ring away in his safe, Gakushuu reaching for the basketball ( _HIS BASKETBALL, HIS BASKETBALL),_ his hand used to forming a fist, ~~Gakushuu’s~~ Asano’s flinching, paying his driver and gardener and maid more and more and more to stay quiet. He stops with the language bullshit and picks up martial arts, krav maga , judo, taekwondo, the whole lot. He runs again for the first time in ages and pushes himself so hard he sees his parents reaching out to him from behind flames.

When the fog lifts, he’s created a new education system and built a whole new campus. It’s like a caste system, there’s those on _top_ and those on the _bottom_. Everyone knows where they are so there’s no class confusion so everyone is content with where they are and there’s no bullying and there’s no suicide and there’s no Ikeda’s because everyone is _okay._ He names the school Kunugigoaka as reminder of what this is all for. There will never be another Ikeda ever again- he’ll see to that. 

Asano is 12 and tall (when did he get tall?) when Gakuhou tells him to start calling him ‘principal’. He refuses to use such underhanded methods such as nepotism, it would discredit everything else he’s done. Asano nods his head before heading back to his room, Japanese book in hand. He’s so studious.

He gets the first roster of students in, sorts them out A through E using databases and formulas and spreadsheets, can’t just rely on the human mind alone. Some are easier than others. Asano, A (he can speak 6 languages, did you know that?). Sakakibara’s parents paid a generous amount and he’s on par with Asano- A. Shiota, _yikes-_ D. Akabane is B, wait no, A, wait no B, wait no-. Maehara… surely this is a joke? E.

The school runs smoothly in its opening semester. He uses school wide assemblies to remind students to aim high if they’re on top and set low expectations if they’re on the bottom. Asano becomes student council president (as expected, he’s so smart) and Gakuhou uses this opportunity to remind him to also spread the good word of his educational philosophy. Asano wastes too much of first and second year on his newfound popularity. Gakuhou reminds him, in a not so friendly way, that you don’t need friends in junior high (he didn’t have any and hey! He turned out fine!).

Something in Asano snaps. Starts adding content to the syllabus, very _specific_ material that seems contradictory to other lessons. Files in his office start to go missing. He finds a lock pick set in his bedroom, the bastard. He convinces Gakuhou to drop a few students from D class. He’s clearly plotting, how clever!

Then, one spring day, Gakuhou hears the news. There’s been a fight. Asano and Akabane. Both probably need to see a doctor. Asano goes to class but Akabane is brought to his office (the instigator has made himself apparent). Akabane’s a carcinogen to this school, with his non-uniform blazer, his laidback attitude, his violence, and his disrespect. He would cause another Ikeda, picturing Akabane picking on someone smaller than him.

The prosecutor within him stirs. “Give me one good reason to keep you here. Honestly.”

Akabane keeps quiet, his wrist hangs loose. He’s expelled the next day.

(Asano comes home with a broken nose. Gakuhou wants to lecture him on proper fighting stance but fears that would encourage more violence (not fitting for his smart son). He decides to tell Asano that social status matters instead).

A Class seems to decrease in number. Isogai, Nakamura, Takebayashi are all sent down to E. Gakuhou doesn’t mind. The majority of the student body should be in Classes B, C and D. They’re the 99%. The remaining 1% is split evenly between A Class and E Class.

The moon explodes. There’s new faculty members in the form of an octopus and an air force instructor. A bounty that supersedes his inheritance and stock portfolio combined. Akabane is practically begged to come back. A student destroys his computer in his first meeting with her.

What an odd start to a year.

(Asano will be applying for high school soon, ah!)

The first semester comes and goes, A Class remaining on top (as they should, you don’t reward a fish for swimming). Asano comes to him and says he needs to punish Isogai for _something,_ wants a lesson on teamwork. Gakuhou gives him pole toppling and 4 extra buff exchange students. It’s obvious but Asano’s so smart that sometimes, things fly over his head, he reminds him what’s expected of him, what _has_ to happen. Asano assures him everything will go as he expects.

Everything does not go as he expects. The scared look on Asano’s face as his pole is knocked over is a blow enough to Gakuhou’s philosophy. It’s not helped when the idiotic American (Kevin, _ugh_ ) opens his gob and mentions the value of failure to one’s own education. Kevin is a fool; he has not lost anything worse losing. One measly pole toppling event is nothing compared to what Gakuhou has experienced. He has lost everything he’s ever had, has hurt more than his mortal heart can take, has gone through enough bad clichés to last 3 lifetimes. He decides to show Kevin and the others just how much losing can hurt.

He hasn’t fought in a long time, was almost scared he’d gone rusty. But, deep down, he knows he’s somewhat superhuman. The fight gives him a rush he hasn’t felt in years, only stops when he remembers that there’s no legal way out if he just straight out fucking kills them. He looks at Asano, eyes wide and oh, he’s shaking. He’s scared. Gakuhou explains why that just happened, sometimes violence is necessary, dear son. He doesn’t know why but he sees the cogs in Asano’s head move after that. He’s always learning, clever boy.

Asano is not as clever as he once thought. Second place, three points, to _Akabane,_ to E Class. He feels light-headed and his receptionist urges him to sit down. He ignores her. He demands an explanation from A Class, who all apologise and ask to be moved down so that they can be taught _like E Class._ Everything collapses into itself. Asano is flung across the room, hand moving on it’s own accord. It’s enough to break his nose that never really healed properly.

Wait. Hold on. He just hit Asano. In front of A Class. That’s a lot of bribe money and moral ambiguity. He feels the enigmatic persona of ‘Kunugigoaka Principal’ wither a little bit. Asano, witty like his mother, sees right through him, laughs his little head off. “And now that disguise is off. Father! It’s been a long 9 years, how are you?!” He practically screams, manic.

This is a strong contender of worst day of his life and man, Gakuhou’s _seen_ some shit before, has been through some shit before. He leaves the room, can’t look at A Class’ aghast expression any longer. He decides to go to the root of the problem, the cancer that’s been plaguing his poor school and ideology.

He is going to destroy the old building and rip Korosensei limb from limb.

Korosensei objects to the termination notice and agrees to go along with Gakuhou’s game. This is his demise. The game has already been decided.

Turns out the octopus is a dutiful teacher and has the material committed to memory. No matter. If you want something done right, you do it yourself.

Asano appears, he looks awful, all dishevelled and exhausted (when was the bags under his dead eyes so heavy?), tells him to stop.

He’s too far gone now to stop, has been for a while. He’s on the self-destructive train and his destination is coming up soon. His hand goes for the book. Goodbye world-

Asano brings up Ikeda and Gakuhou feels his heart turn to lead. Asano was just a baby when that happened, doesn’t know the implications it holds. He didn’t even know Ikeda, has no right to say his name in such a manner. Asano’s smart but he doesn’t know everything. He should know that by now.

Asano starts listing off people who he gave years of his life too, reminding Gakuhou there’s more on the other side for him than there is here. Asano really is his father’s son, starts going on the offensive, like a prosecutor, goes for the logical fallacies in Gakuhou’s ideology. He finds himself too stunned to refute any points made.

Okay, then Asano goes off the deep end and _yes,_ the real Asano, the real Gakushuu bares its head, kept under societal pressures too long for its own liking. The real Gakushuu throws caution to wind and says what has been unspoken between them for years. His rage spills over to his words- he’s always been an emotional child.

Gakuhou’s just glad he saw his child, his real son, once more before everything ceases to be. He opens the book and before the white consumes his world, he sees a flash of Ikeda, his parents, his other parents, _her._

In the white, he sees a young Gakushuu wearing a suit too large for him. He sees him live his life, get sent to the system, adopted, loses his parents, goes to America, loses his partner, loses his mentee, loses his way, grenade death with an octopus.

(Gakuhou also sees her again. She smiles sadly, kisses him on the cheek and turns him away)

He opens his eyes. He is very much alive, covered in a thick, sticky substance. Korosensei saved him. Why. There’s a commotion outside, Gakushuu’s fainted. Korosensei implies, _demands_ they need to talk. And Gakuhou doesn’t argue against that, his head is reeling.

Gakushuu is hospitalised, a combination of stress, sleep deprivation, getting flung 5 feet across a room, and Gakuhou reminds himself that this is where she died. He refuses to lose another. Akabane is here, getting a carton of strawberry milk from a vending machine. He’s refused to leave Gakushuu’s side this whole time, protective.

“Why?” Gakuhou asks.

Akabane, lax as ever, shrugs. “Someone has to take care of him. No offence when I say I don’t trust you two alone together.”

He makes a good point, maybe that’s why he’s his number 1 student. Gakuhou only then realises that Akabane has been the antithesis to his whole ideology, his undoing. And yet he’s the prime example of what can be under the E Class system. How ironic. He laughs at himself for taking so long to work that one out.

After a while, Akabane agrees to let the two talk in private but stands guard outside the room, pretending he can’t hear anything. Gakuhou can’t fault for him for being antsy; he isn’t exactly in the running for father of the year. Gakuhou congratulates him on first place, which catches Akabane off guard, looks away to hide the bashful expression on his face. Can’t take praise well, smartest ones never can.

There’s a splint keeping Gakushuu’s face in shape. Recognition flashes behind his violet eyes, always watching, always learning. What a clever boy. Gakuhou takes a seat and clasps his hands together in his lap. “I think we need to talk.”

“Yeah. We do.”

(Gakuhou Asano ~~is fired~~ steps down as Kunugigoaka’s principal)

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if u enjoyed :') comments r good for the soul. i’m @wasp-factor on tumblr if u wanna scream at me abt anything


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